Strippers in Ireland Advice Clinic How to spot the boring Stags
In every Stag Party, anywhere in Ireland, there is one Stag that is missing his horns. Our Female Strippers in Ireland know how to spot them from the moment they set eyes on them. While every Stag is entitled to their own opinion, being a wet blanket on Stag Party is like doing a Mourinho on your best friends last night of freedom. So why do you go to a Stag Party when you are a party pooper? Beats us. But our sexy exotic dancers are also Stag Party specialists and their advice is as good as gold. A Stag Party is a unique opportunity for all the auld fellas to have a bit of banter and shine their horns. It is also a good test drive for the wedding. The husband to be gets to which of the lads can hold their drink. On the other hand all of them will get a pre taste of the hangover that will follow the big night. Especially if they haven’t been to a good a session for a while.
The Mad Fella and the Wet blanket
The polar opposite of the “Boring Stag” is the Mad Fella. This is the guy that will organise the strippers for the Stag. It doesn’t matter that the party is in the woods of Co Donegal. He will organise the strippers, get a fully nude show for the stag and tip the dancers like an Arab on holidays. The Wet Blanket is the guy that will make everyone’s life difficult and spoil the fun. Actually this is the kind of Stag that Stag Parties should leave behind in the hotel. He is good company up to 5 pm. Then he wants to be somewhere else, saving the blue fin whales or planning the next revolution. Definitely not in a busy bar or in strip club.
Look for the signs… The Strippers know how to weed them out
Lukewarm Pre-Stag response
Our Strippers can tell you that the stag that spoils the fun is usually the one that needed some persuasion to come over. When his buddies call him and proudly announce that the Stag party will have a top of the range stripogram, he asks if they serve food at the bar. When the Stag organiser sends a confirmation to the Stag Group with a 10 pm stripper performance on it, he asks if that’s too late. He will prefer a ghost tour of Dublin to pub crawl with beer wenches. You get the drift.
The boring Stag usually sit far from the huddle. While the rest of boys sit on a tight circle to get a good view of the show, he takes a corner chair. You can also find you boring Stag going to the toilet during the performance, or simply looking at his phone instead of enjoying the show. When the strippers make eye contact with he looks behind him in bewilderment.
Participation in the stripogram
Definitely not the guy that will be cheering, tipping or even applauding. Bored out of his mind he will be thinking of the time he goes to bed. While sometimes this boring excuse of human being has a valid reason for being a wet blanket, most of the times he is just the wrong guy in the right place.
Take for example the fully nude show. While most of the fellas will appreciate this much applauded part, our boring fella might ask the stripper if she is cold and offer his jacket. If the stripper throws her bra in his direction he will be looking at the label of the bra and will be wondering if Ann Summers do the size that his wife or girlfriend wear. Then ask the stripper where did she buy it. Even worse when the strippers hang out after the show he will ask interesting questions like “What is your real name?”. Definitely not want strippers want to hear. Or even worse he ends up telling them that they remind him of his niece or his girlfriend when she was younger. Definitely not what the niece or the girlfriend would appreciate.
Reasons for not being a Wild Stag
Obviously if one heads to a stag party and has to go to kids birthday party the next morning, one needs to take it easy. But apart from the dedicated dad, we have the a few other categories that don’t make the best stag.
The guys that have a strict moral code. Obviously any adults should be able to tell the difference between an exotic dance and a sex show. If they have difficulties making that decision they should stay away from Stags. Also they should time travel to the medieval times where everybody was pious and the women covered any visible part of their bad. Or Saudi Arabia.
On the other hand, you might simply have a stag that has no interest in partying. In this case he should do everybody a favour and buy a round for the lads from home. All he has to do is call the bar and provide his Credit Card details. They will all drink in his honour and he will finish watching the 3000 episodes of Star Trek.
Let’s not forget the miserable bastard. In this case, the party pooper does like to party, but it has to be all about him. Having an ego the size of a hot air balloon is just the worst thing you can bring with you on a Stag. In this case our strippers in Ireland came up with the perfect text this category of boring stags should receive just before the Stag Party.
To all Stag Party Wet Blankets
“Hey it’s not about you f***r. You are not getting married. You can come and join the celebrations, but remember, this is all a game to send off the future groom in style. So do not expect the other lads to sing your praises throughout the night. Actually do expect to be at the receiving end of jokes and stag party pranks if you start misbehaving. If you think that Strippers and Stag Parties are not your cup of tea, then stay at home and have a cup of tea with your granny.”
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