Strippers in Ireland: A grocery shopping Guide
You know by now that we write bout strippers in Ireland, right. Good. Now let us tell you a few secrets about strippers in Ireland. They actually shop, and push their trolley down the isles of Lidl, just like you and me. Well, almost like you and me. Cos they practice some of their routines while they are pushing that trolley. Yes you can do the tits-on-the-bar routine, or the swings-your-ass-and-turn-around routine anywhere. Obviously strippers make sure that no angry wives hunt them down the vegetable section with a cucumber as a weapon of choice. In any case strippers do their grocery shopping during weekdays, as the weekends are busy. Like up to the tits busy. Or as busy as a strip joint on Valentines. We decided to run a small survey with the strippers of Hot Stuff Entertainment to find out what makes them get in their Red Corvette with a ton of Lidl bags in the trunk.
Stripper Body Confidence
Taking your assets to Lidl for a special show is something strippers in Ireland would do with pleasure. If a stripper can attract attention in Lidl, she can definitely make it in the club. Thus strippers choose Lidl because the isles are wide enough for dance. One can even include melons, strawberries and a can of cream in the routine. But then the manager will call the guards. So, first piece of advice is to avoid performing in Lidl. Stick to shopping.
Midweek late shopping – Strippers in Ireland like their peace
As you probably know there times when Lidl is busier than a strippers’ changing room in Atlanta. Kids screaming, grannies moaning and the queue longer than the An Post queue on a Wednesday. But strippers have found the best time for midweek shopping. Either a Thursday or a Tuesday is perfect for wearing comfy shoes and heading to the yellow shop with no staff on the floor. It’s just what strippers in IReland need: a supermarket where nobody really bothers you. Quiet isles where nobody will ask if you are OK when you are just staring at the eggs and thinking of bringing some with you for the next show. Lidl is amazing when quiet. With lots of space to roam around it seems almost like a strip club stage during rehearsals. Similarly, the staff are as helpful as strippers are. If you ask them politely you might even get nice cuppa and a chat. Yeah right 🙂
What is the first Lidl secret strippers in Ireland will share?
And just like that, every Lidl helps. While bigger supermarkets have a lot to offer, Lidl offers strange things that always come handy. Our ladies get from this German giant their yoga mats. Yes strippers in Ireland do yoga as it helps their tired muscles. Their builder boyfriends join in sometimes. Only that the partners can’t do the smiling cat or the hungry dog positions. They tend to go for the sleepy bear or horny monkey yoga positions. Most of the time they fail miserably at such attempts and resign to the couch. At the same time our strippers will have done their stretches and exercises on a top quality yoga mat. Such is the reputation of Lidl yoga strippers in Ireland have a Facebook group to keep themselves updated.
What about yummy stripper goodies
A twisted mind needs an elastic body. The diet of strippers in Ireland will involve some of the 5 a day. And we are not talking about their pole dancing sets. Most strippers are quite regimented when it comes to keeping fit. Fat maybe good in America, where Big Mac booties reap 100 dollar notes while twerking, but Ireland prefers EU fat levels on stage. As a result strippers in Ireland will get an industrial amounts of nuts. They are a great source of vitamins and a handy healthy snack to chew on in between stripograms. Other lap dancing fuels include coconut oil for the friction and tons of frozen fruit for those wake-me-the-fuck-up smoothies.
Cheap Vodka is not for drinking
Obviously Lidl keeps a well priced selection of spirits. Strippers in Ireland use such distilled produced to lubricate their poles. Vodka is great for disinfecting and providing controlled friction for those back-flip manoeuvres. But our strippers drink Grey Goose and Absolute-ly fine beverages. While at it they might even get tempted to add a few more bottles of vino to their collection. Our ladies do like a party and with a few good days of summer each year, the glass of wine in the garden is a must.
DIY equipment for strippers in Ireland
One cannot miss the special offers in pressure pumps and battery chargers. Having such life saving gear in your boot when travelling to the deep countryside of Ireland can make or break a performance. Armed with all kinds of building site materials, our strippers will drive to the back arse of Cavan or the tops of the Kerry mountains to make the magic happen. They will definitely get a full set of Allen keys and a even a generator for those camping striptease situations.
Rules of engagement if you meet a client in the supermarket
Maybe dancers from other parts of the world will pretend that the lighting was bad and their memory is tired. But strippers in Ireland will drop a “how are ya” and a wink. Ireland is a big village and in village you can’t avoid anybody. If the cashier in Lidl knows that you re a stripper, then might as well wear it as a badge of honour.
Can you hire strippers in Ireland for Lidl performances
Hot Stuff Entertainment doesn’t hold any responsibility if the Lidl guys decide to surprise their colleagues on their stag. The ladies, sadly cant perform inside the shop. But think outside th big box and book a limo which can fit in one of those half empty car parks of Lidl. It’s just a Lidl thing but our strippers in Ireland love to shop German style and party Irish style, so hop on board lets do our shopping together.